Starting Again

Many, many years ago I started a blog. I called it Pandora Knits. I was deeply inspired by the Yarn Harlot, who was living (and still is) my dream life of knitting, fiber, family, and friends. As is always the case, other people’s lives are appealing, particularly from a distance.

Over the years, I watched as she went through life’s ups and downs, including losing a grandchild and watching her family grow and move on. While she was going through loss and life, I was experiencing similar things: a critically ill grandchild, children struggling and moving on, the world seeming to come apart at the seams, and life being—well—life.

As life moved on and the world got crazy, my faith in people diminished mightily, and my will to continue pushing through evaporated. I went into what some professionals call the “freeze” state, and in a lot of ways I remain there today.

Waiting.

This website sat here waiting while I went on with everything else and with nothing else.

Lately I’ve been waking up. I still feel sad when I actually wake up, knowing that I have another day to get through and no end in sight for the misery and cruelty the world is currently thriving on.

But I’ve been thinking about writing again.

Not because I have a particular subject I want to write about, or because I’ve suddenly figured out what kind of writer I’m supposed to be. If anything, I’ve decided I don’t need to figure that out first.

There is no lack of things to write about. Things I notice. Things I make. Things I learn because I got curious and disappeared down a rabbit hole. Books I read, projects I start, things I grow, problems I solve, and thoughts that stick around longer than I expect—or even want them to.

Maybe that’s enough.

So I’m starting again.

I don’t know exactly what will end up here, and I think that’s the point. Life doesn’t fit neatly into categories. Neither does this site.